THE HONORABLE UNCLE JUDGE ENORE, ALL RISE!

Be seated.




We're here, today, for sentencing  in the matter of The  Emporium vs Ryan Paul Junaid.

Mr. Junaid, please stand.   

Mr. Junaid, I'll ask  you one more time to stand, and then I'll instruct the bailiff to nail you to a pole, and then stand you up.  Now, GET THE FUCK ON YOUR FEET!

Thank you.

Mr. Junaid, you plead "no contest" to the charges of animal cruelty, and behavior unbecoming a human being, is that correct?

Yeah.

WHAT?

Yes, your honor.

You understand that with that plea entered, you will not have the right to  a trial, and must accept the sentence of this court?  Do you understand  and agree, thus waiving your right to a trial or a trial by jury?

Yes, your honor.

So entered into the court record.

Mr Junaid, you admit to using a pair of pliers to pull apart living, non-anesthetized guinea pigs, and further, to video taping your activities?  And do you further admit to doing this, not once, but many times?

Yes, your honor.

Alright.  Sadly for you, you are in The Emporium's jurisdiction.  Had you been in the jurisdiction of the State of California, you would have faced a year in jail, at the most.

Here, assholes like you don't skate, scumbag.  The world benefits in no way with people of your ilk  in it.  You are the poster boy for not everyone having a right to live.  You're a fucking beast, and I would be derelict in my duty if I were to allow you ever to do this again.


Therefore...


You are hereby sentenced to be drug out into the street by  your greezy hair, and shot in the fucking head, as many times as it takes to kill your disgusting ass.  Sentence to be carried out as soon as my pizza arrives.  I don't want to miss anything.


Court adjourned.

ALL RISE FOR THE HONORABLE UNCLE JUDGE ENORE...

Ok, guinea pig boy, kiss your ass goodbye, and come with me.  Man, His Honor wasn't kidding about your greezy hair, huh?