I have found a new profession, one that even elderly hippies can do.

I'm going to marry foreigners so they can come  over and be citizens here almost legally...for a small fee, of course.


Ordinarily, a scheme such as this would be fraught with danger...fraught, I tell you.  But, I have figgered out a prosecution-proof angle to this, and I'm goin' into business for myself.

I'm only going to marry queer foreigners. 

Huh? Brilliant, no?

Check it out...

First, with all the hoopla about gays being able to marry here, you're nearly called a racist if you don't think it's a good idea.  Add to that how everyone kisses foreign ass around here, at least the illegal kind.   Then, of course, it's not politically correct to criticize anything foreigners do, because then, by god, you will  be a racist.  (That's the current definition of "racist: doesn't kiss foreign ass; thinks their culture don't mean shit; unafraid to speak the truth.)

Plus, listen, you know how those gay guys always have lots of money, right? 

I think  that if I structure this just right, I should be able to do  one a month, travel all I care to for free, get plenty of head, never have to worry about being constipated again, and get, if not rich, easily comfortable, considering all the money will be tax free.

Let's figure out all the numbers, shall we?

No matter where I head  in the world, my overhead would be pretty small, considering the return.

• Airfare:  $2000, should get me any place I'd care to go.
• Living expenses, one week: $1000, includes $400 for sex toys, spandex, plastic sheets and lube.

I think that would cover it, three grand, tops.

Look, I hit the airport in, say, Mumbai, get myself a hotel room for the week, not a fancy hotel, but not scum, either, give the clerk $20 American to tell me where to find all the Mumbaian gay guys, and I'll be getting some Hindu head in less than thirty minutes.

Two days of some debasing and disturbing, sweaty sex in my hotel room, and he'll be begging for me to marry him and take him to America with me, so he, too, can experience the joys of being a faggot in America, no strings attached.

Then the deal is struck.

From this point until after the honeymoon, all expenses are on the gay guy.  Everything.  Additionally, a $5000 cash deposit is required immediately, along with another $5000 when we show up at the Justice of the Peace's office, but before any paperwork is signed.

Thereafter, Mr. Brucie Singh  will be an American gay guy, and able to suck cock at all the fuck book store video booths, like all the other queer guys do. The deal also includes his own free, lifetime  ad in Craig's List Men looking for Men classifieds.

Me? 

I'll net seven large a month, tax free, as a minimum,  be able to travel the world free of cost, and, of course, enjoy all the gay boy swag my "wife"  buys me.  ("husband" $500 additional)