Today's episode, UNC EATS SHIT!
Hello, friends, and welcome to the show. I'm sitting here having my afternoon coffee and eating some shit. Oh, pshaw, this has nothing to do with bottoming or scat or any of that...though, if that's what you're interested in, I'll meet you out in front of Safeway at 11:00.
No, perish the thought, you nasty Castro boys, you.
I'm eating something known as a Bear Claw Danish. Neither bear claw nor danish, it sit's on the shelf only two places. Truck stops, and small neighborhood liquor stores that cater to the evening's crack trade.
Though it doesn't pretend to be health food, and no driver or crackhead would give a fuck, they might want to think about how to cover up the "nutritional" stuff you are getting: more than 50% of the fat you need a day, a third of that saturated fats, enough cholesterol to satisfy anyone, and enough sodium to keep a small Nubian village in salt for three years...all in one 5 ounce, 600 calorie package, for a mere $1.19.
No one could expect more, but it would have been nice had it not been stale. I don't mean major crunchy stale, but, yougottadrinksomethingafterorit'llgetstuckinyourthroat stale.
Still, if you were a driver stopping for cup of coffee and a quick pick-me-up in the middle of the night, or a crack whore who just wants to blunt the smell of old semen wafting out of your toothless mouf...or, you know, if you're just an ole hippy with the munchies...it ain't half bad, is what I'm sayin' here.
Bear Claw Danish gets two stars on the UNC EATS Five Star scale.
It's better'n eatin' shit, unless you're in leathers.
0 comments:
Post a Comment
What? You wanna say something?