Time for some Christmas spirit, you people!

As further evidence that we Americans, as a society and as a people, are becoming voluntarily dumber than shit and more petty, hence less intellectually relevant, we are once again yelling and screaming about the Christmas season, what it’s allowed to be called and not called, what other religions should be included in it’s celebration, and all that fucking hoopla about nativity scenes and signs and lights and statues, all as if it mattered a bit.

My god, I am SO tired of this bullshit showing up every year in one form or another, now. Didn’t used be this way. Used to be that people just enjoyed Christmas time and didn’t get all wound up over stupid shit but, as I say, this IS proof that people are getting stupider by the hour.

Now, as you know, I’m not religious at all, but I am the scholar who discovered the lost book of the Bible, Jehosephat, and I am the world’s leading authority on it, as  you also know.

What you probably don’t know, because the mainstream media is in league with the devil, as well as the Ee-ville Wall Street Bankers and the liberals, is that Jesus, himself, discussed this very topic in Jehosephat, 3:16, which I have translated here for you, this morning.

Out of the mouth of Jews…

This is the time when all the dumbasses start bitching and screaming about inclusion and working up a sweat about whether there are Hippy in a Barn scenes on public land and all of that sort of silly shit. Listen, you people, this is MY birthday you’re wrangling over, so I thought that today I’d give you the official word on all this crap so I don’t have to hear it any more. Some of you people may want to take notes…

Ok, yes, Christmas is my birthday celebration. I don’t want to hear any more crap about my actual birth date or any of that. First, you don’t really have any fucking idea, you’re just trying to sound like you know something that others don’t.  And, secondly, what the hell difference does it make? It’s a celebration. Just relax. So, because it’s my birthday there are religious overtones to much of the hoopla surrounding Christmas. The religious part is primarily a christian celebration.

In addition to being partially religious, it is also a secular holiday. Now, just in case you’re from Muslimville, “secular” means non-religious. That’s where Christmas trees and Santa and the Midgets and tinsel and all of that come into play. It also bleeds over into the religious stuff, since a lot of the secular displays show semi-religious stuff, like that barn I was born in.

You with me so far? Partially religious, partially secular. This is pretty easy stuff.

Or it was.

Because hardly any of you people can mind their own fucking business, and because a lot of times you people have nothing better to do than show how damned stupid you are, many of you have been kicking up a fuss about all this for the past few years, like it really matters. The Jews got into the act first, insisting that candle thing show up in the Hippy in a Barn scenes. Right. That’s what we needed back then, a bunch of fucking candles to light the hay on fire. Good thinking. Christ! These people don’t even believe in Santa Claus! They do have some sort of holiday in December, but so what? They should just butt out.

And now the fucking muslims, of all people, are bitching and whining because they aren’t represented in Christmas displays! For god’s sake, you people just barely meet the qualifications for being human, and you think everyone should hang up that star and moon thing of yours? Of course, you do know the most about living in barns and caves and that sort of shit, but that hardly qualifies you for special notice this time of the year. Still, I understand why people put up with your silly shit. They’re afraid of being blown to a fine red pulp by you loons.

And if all that wasn’t enough, the fucking atheists have to squawk about the entire affair. Just shut up. All this is meaningless and pointless and is just a fucking holiday. If you atheist commies haven’t got anything better to complain about, your lives must be wonderful ones. Shut the fuck up. It doesn’t matter. NONE of it matters one fucking bit. Hush.

You people all behave like a bunch of assholes this time of the year. Just relax, will you? It’s not that serious. In fact, it’s not serious at all! It’s just Christmas. Little kids get excited, people put up pretty lights and stuff in and around their homes, people smile more, usually, and give each other presents. Nobody needs or wants a bunch of disgruntled assholes bitching about Stars of David, or muslims crap, or whether any of this stuff should go on public land. Good god, just fucking relax.

You all act like assholes, and I’m tired of it.

Besides, if there was REALLY a god, do you think he’d elect to be born in a BARN? What’s wrong with you? He’d go to Cedars-Sinai where all the good Jew doctors are. They’d have given him a discount for being god and all.

Merry Christmas,  you people.