Ladies and Gentlemen, assuming there are any left, the President of the United States…

Newt Gingrich?

You gotta be shitting me, right?  I have to admit I was surprised, perhaps shocked, at his bid for the Republican Presidential nomination, and I don’t know if I’m so comfortable with it, yet.  That said, I think I know quite a bit about his appeal to the Right, and an equal amount about the repugnance he stirs in the Left.

Leave us explore, hmm?

If you aren’t aware of Gingrich’s background, the Wiki article is about as good as anything at explaining who he is, his background as a legislator, some of his personal life, and all of that. 

You can see and surmise that the man is fairly conservative, and has worked pretty hard at trying to see conservative ideas and ideals expressed thru the government.  Yes, Republicans will argue amongst themselves about who amongst them is or isn’t a real conservative, and they’ll bring up all sorts of examples of why this one is or that one is not, but all that is just insider bullshit, having nothing to do with the rest of us. By that I mean, every group has it’s own divisions, but those divisions don’t lessen the over-all identity of the group.

For example, truck drivers.  We in  the driving profession, if it be one, talk amongst ourselves about who good drivers are and are not, what company training turns out good drivers, and what ones turn out poor, there is a hierarchy  amongst drivers, even.   But, to everyone not in the industry, a truck driver is a truck driver, whether they haul sulfuric acid or tomatoes.  Insider bullshit.

So it is in politics. Who is or is not a “true” conservative doesn’t matter a bit to those of us who are not conservatives.  (I’m not so sure I know how I got off on this, though I guess, as always, it doesn’t matter.  Anyway, it doesn’t matter to me. If it matters to you, bummer, dude.)

But my point is this. Lots of people do what Gingrich does and has done, try to get the government and the country to move to a considerably more “conservative” track, as opposed to a more “liberal” one.  There is nothing special about the man there.

What is special about him, and what does set him aside from almost all other politicians, certainly any of them with any power and influence, what makes him a lightening rod for hate and derision from the liberals, and embarrassment and anger from the conservatives, is his personality.  It’s strong. Very strong. He’s not a fucking pussy, he says what he thinks, he calls “bullshit” right out loud when he sees it, or thinks he does, he doesn’t tiptoe, he’s blunt and direct, and he doesn’t give a good goddamn whether you like him or what he says or thinks, or whether you don’t.¹

His personality manifests politically in a couple pretty interesting ways.

If you fancy yourself a conservative voter, that is, a Republican, then his candor and directness and lack of kowtowing is refreshing, even if you find that his proposals and platform and the like aren’t to your tastes.  Here is a politician, one with a strong, heavy political history, who has both a spine and balls.

If you’re a liberal voter, a Democrat, then you view his direct speech and lack of concern for political correctness as defects, horrors, nearly, and in your mind he is viewed as unfeeling, cold, distant, and aloof, and above all else, mean.

If you’re a politician of any variety, either Republican or Democrat, you don’t want the man any where near being successful again in politics, and certainly not as President.  In that would lie the danger that to compete with him politically, both Democrats and Republicans would have to adopt his style, to some degree or another, as it became clear that that is what the voting public was demanding and expecting…and they certainly would. 

Imagine a Congress full of politicians, liars and devious by nature, who we forced, through our approbation of one of their fellows, to be honest², forthright, blunt; that we forced to answer questions directly, and in whom we demanded to find a spine and balls, if not integrity.

Does all this mean I think Gingrich would make a good President?

No, it doesn’t, and no, I won’t be voting for him, should lightening strike and he actually become the Republican nominee.  He and I agree on much, but I can’t make that ole permanent space colony on the moon shit. What? Newt, are you fucking INSANE?

Besides, you think Obama has problems with Congress?  Let Gingrich get in there and you’re going to see all sorts of shit, and how can anyone get anything done fighting all the time?  Can’t. Wouldn’t.

But I would vote for all politicians being just like him in attitude, personality, and political style. I’m not holding my breath, mind you, but I’d vote for it.

Just not for Newt.

 

Footnotes and stuff:

1. Saying all of this doesn’t make him a Super Politician.  He’s still a liar, cheat, and a thief, falling under the general umbrella of “politician.” That’s part of the definition.
2. For a politician. See 1, above.